Decisions, Decisions....

Someone made a comment to me the other day using that saying "Home is where the heart is". Although I have heard that phrase hundreds of times in the past, this time it really resonated with me.

My dilemna: I love, love, LOVE living in the great state of Texas. Out of all the places I have lived, Texas seems to fit me like a cozy, flannel shirt that is worn fuzzy in just the right places. The word that comes to mind is HOME. Unfortunately for me; however, everyone in my immediate family is located in Arizona.

As I have gotten older (and apparently wiser) I really miss not being able to just drive over to my mom's for dinner or a casual visit whenever the urge strikes. Yes, I know I can jump on a plane and be there in less than 3 hours, but it's not the same. My little step-brother and sister are now both in high school and soon will be out exploring the world as I did before them...but I have missed so many opportunities to experience their childhood with them always living in a different state. My dad is getting up there in years and while we have not always had the best relationship, I can not imagine a world without him (or my mom, my step-mom or step-dad) in it. It's not that I don't like the state where I was born, it's just that my love affair with Texas is more passionate.

The crossroads are fast approaching...I can almost physically feel it coming, just like you feel an approaching thunderstorm. In my heart I know what I have to do, and you would think it would be an easy decision given that family is involved, but it's not. Perhaps it's because I was born an only child and have never required constant social interactions in order to be content. Or perhaps it's because as a single woman with no children, I have not yet really learned the meaning of the word "sacrifice". I feel sorrow for the experiences I don't think I will get to have, and then immediately feel guilty afterwards...as if the sorrow somehow negates the love I have for my family.

The next 12 months should be interesting....