De Plane! De Plane!

The following story is true. Only the names of parties involved have been withheld to protect them from the embarrassment of being associated with me.


There is nothing like settling back in your cramped airline seat, satisfied that you are finally heading off to some nice destination for a well earned vacation. Imagine feeling the plane start to taxi down the run way then suddenly being thrown into the back of the seat in front of you as the squeal of the brakes fills your ears. Welcome to my NYC trip.


" Ladies and Gentlemen, we seem to have lost one of our hydraulic pumps. We will need to go back to a gate; however, there is not one open at this time. In the meantime we will taxi off the runway and wait for a gate to open up."



* First things first...for the love of God...yes, get us off the runway!
* Second, Do you happen to have any idea HOW long we might be waiting for a gate?
* Third, I think I just had a mild heart attack realizing that had this pump waited for us to become airborne before failing, we could have ended up like the United flight in Sioux City, IA.


Undaunted, I called my friend who was already in route to JFK and left her a message indicating I would be delayed in arriving, and I would call again with an update once I knew more.


NOTE: Those who know me well, know that I am severely prone to motion sickness. I can't even read and be in a moving car at the same time. My solution? Dramamine! Since this flight to JFK was supposed to be around 3 hours, I thought it best to take a double dose so I would sleep through the entire flight. I had followed the directions on the package to the letter and popped my pills 30 minutes before we boarded the plane.........now flashback to the present and you can imagine after almost an hour on the tarmac waiting for a gate, I am having to struggle to stay awake and remain lucid so I know what the hell is going on.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. We have found an unoccupied gate, and will be heading there for the mechanics to take a look at this pump. If it needs to be replaced, we will put you all on another plane that has been made available. We apologize for the inconvenience."

Okay...so it's not going to be that bad. I call my friend and leave a message with an update, but I have a hard time forming the words with my mouth. I feel like I am drunk, but without the happy part. At no time did it occur that I should probably be seeking alternate arrangements - they said they had a plane for us, the airlines always follow through and do what they say they will, right?

"Ladies and Gentlemen. We will not be able to continue on this plane. We also apologize for the earlier miscommunication as there is not another plane available to continue this flight to JFK. As a result, we are cancelling the flight. Please make your way to any available ticket counter to seek alternate flight arrangements."


WTF???

Okay...maybe not.

I am staggering down the jetway with my crap, trying to dial Customer Service with my new iPhone. I get placed on hold and step in line at one of the counters. As I get closer to the agent, customer service comes on the line and proceeds to tell me there are no other direct flights to JFK that day, and that she just booked the last seat on the last plane to LaGuardia.

She did; however, have a seat on a flight into Newark that should arrive right after midnight. Newark is bad enough - period...at midnight it's almost as bad as the pump going out at 35,000 feet. "What other options do I have?" I ask. She begins to ramble about possibly flying to Atlanta and catching a connection there, or perhaps I can fly into Chicago and go standby there. "Forget it. Just give me my money back." I say.....she begins to apologize and I find myself in front of the desk agent. As I hang up the phone I ask him to confirm what she told me. He clickity clicks on the keyboard, looks at the screen, and then looks at me with a horrified expression on his face. I look back at him, perplexed....."Ma'am...your nose is bleeding. Are you okay?" ARRRRGH! Now I look like a drunk extra from a horror movie. Or a pretty close second to Bill Paxton in Near Dark.





I attempt to call my friend's voice mail again, and inadvertently call my old boss's cell phone (last names are very close together). I vaguely remember the conversation, but not really. I do remember him saying.."Are you drunk? You called me by mistake, didn't you!" Now my former boss thinks I drunk dialed him. On a Thursday morning. SIGH


I try again, carefully selecting my friend's number from my contact list, ignoring the worried glances from other travelers walking past me. I leave a message, but have no idea what I said. I think I repeated myself at least three times.


Now I make the trek through the terminal back down to the courtesy van area...periodically dropping my water, magazine, purse and jacket (not necessarily in that order) on the way. I stop by the ladies room to grab some paper towels as I am leaving little red droplets like a trail of breadcrumbs behind me.


I flag down the Park N Fly van zooming by and low and behold, it's the same driver who dropped me off earlier that day. With eyes the size of saucers, he asks if I am okay. "My flight was cancelled. Take me to my car!" I bark. He gets my bag and then does not say another word on the drive back to the shuttle lot.


After a ten minute battle with my trunk, I manage to fling it open and throw my bag in and then the rest is a blur.


I woke up that night at 7, laying half on/half off my bed. My purse was still on my shoulder and I was still wearing my glasses. Punkin was snuggled up next to me, and unless she figured out a way to teleport herself from the floor to the bed, I must have grabbed her and flung her up before I passed out.


I shakily got to my feet and glanced at myself in the bathroom mirror. My hair looked like it had encountered a wind tunnel and was standing at attention. Similar to this:




My chin, cheek and neck were coated with a nice crusting of dried blood

Lest you think I managed to have an adventure like this for free, it cost me 10.00 for the time my car was at the shuttle lot.

Sometimes I can't believe the things that happen in my life.

Woot Woot!!

Makes Dancing with Stars look like romper room....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9WsMasBk_E

New Yawk, New Yawk!

3 more days until I fly off into the blue yonder and come skidding into JFK for a NYC summer weekend drive by. I have not been to the Big Apple since April of 2001 and am looking forward to some fun in the big city. I will have my iPhone and my new Cannon at the ready, and will hopefully be able to meet up with a former co-worker now living in Joisey. Expect uber amounts of documentation.

Betcha Didn't Notice.....

I found a way to import my witty reparte from my previous neglected blog into my new and will nurture and care for it blog. And yes, the nurturing and caring includes fixing the broken links on the older posts. Girl Scouts Honor!

Decisions, Decisions....

Someone made a comment to me the other day using that saying "Home is where the heart is". Although I have heard that phrase hundreds of times in the past, this time it really resonated with me.

My dilemna: I love, love, LOVE living in the great state of Texas. Out of all the places I have lived, Texas seems to fit me like a cozy, flannel shirt that is worn fuzzy in just the right places. The word that comes to mind is HOME. Unfortunately for me; however, everyone in my immediate family is located in Arizona.

As I have gotten older (and apparently wiser) I really miss not being able to just drive over to my mom's for dinner or a casual visit whenever the urge strikes. Yes, I know I can jump on a plane and be there in less than 3 hours, but it's not the same. My little step-brother and sister are now both in high school and soon will be out exploring the world as I did before them...but I have missed so many opportunities to experience their childhood with them always living in a different state. My dad is getting up there in years and while we have not always had the best relationship, I can not imagine a world without him (or my mom, my step-mom or step-dad) in it. It's not that I don't like the state where I was born, it's just that my love affair with Texas is more passionate.

The crossroads are fast approaching...I can almost physically feel it coming, just like you feel an approaching thunderstorm. In my heart I know what I have to do, and you would think it would be an easy decision given that family is involved, but it's not. Perhaps it's because I was born an only child and have never required constant social interactions in order to be content. Or perhaps it's because as a single woman with no children, I have not yet really learned the meaning of the word "sacrifice". I feel sorrow for the experiences I don't think I will get to have, and then immediately feel guilty afterwards...as if the sorrow somehow negates the love I have for my family.

The next 12 months should be interesting....

Almost Famous

So I made the weekly Yelp Newsletter in the Big D. It's like being published, but not really. Check it out......



Here's an even better look. Guess which one is mine?????

HOA = HELL

I received an email from the President of my Homeowner's Association Friday morning. Apparently she was walking down the sidewalk and slipped in some mud that had run off from my yard. Keep in mind - on Thursday we had a HUGE storm and tress/fences were uprooted and down all over the place. See her message below:

Stephanie, I was walking the community today and almost slipped on the dirt/mud that has washed onto the sidewalk from your yard during the recent rains. For the safety of our walkers and to protect your liability, we would appreciate you removing the dirt and mud as soon as possible.

If you need the name of a couple of good and reasonable landscape companies to get quotes on fixing the problem and preventing it from happening in the future, we can certainly provide references for you.

Thanks so much for your immediate attention to this issue for the safety of our community.

Warmest regards, D

Denise S. XXXXX

Manager, Sinequanon Group
President, Rockcreek Place Homeowners Association
Secretary, Plano Symphony Orchestra Guild

Now I go out running in the neighborhood at least twice a week. If I see something on the sidewalk that might present a hazard (water from the sprinklers, gravel, or any other kind of debris, I AVOID THAT SECTION OF SIDEWALK. Since there is little to no traffic on the street, it is less dangerous to step out onto the road and run past the aforementioned danger zone than to continue running into something that I KNOW might cause me to slip or fall. I have to wonder about this HOA President:

1) Why is she out walking around critiquing people's yards/connecting sidewalks right after a major storm? Does she think that none of us noticed the damage/debris on our property?
2) Why is it important that we know that she is not only the HOA President, but also the Manager of the Sinequanon Group (WTF is that?) AND the Secretary for the Plano Symphony Orchestra Guild? This just seems like overkill on a personal email account. I think I should add a signature line on my MSN email that says I am the President of the Addicted to Deadwood - Plano Chapter group, as well as the Secretary for the Hal Sparks fan club. I mean, it IS important that people know these things, right?

and finally......
3) Why the hell did she walk through the mud?? Maybe she was deep in thought, organizing symphony activities and all of a sudden she realized "Whoops, I am walking through some mud". And instead of scolding herself for being lame enough to walk in the mud, she decided to take her anger over her ruined Keds out on me.

I hate the suburbs.

But It's a Dry Heat....in Death Valley

It is apparent that the mild Texas spring time has officially fled town. We are now left with high temperatures, high humidity and ZERO breezidity factor (I like to make up my own words some time....deal). Here is an example of our dilemma:

At 530 PM, CST, the outside temperature was 100 degrees.

Fast forward to 1030 PM CST the same day and look what we have:

4 degrees cooler. 4. WHOLE. DEGREES.

Apparently we here in the Big D must have done something to have pissed off Mother Nature because just two days ago, we had torrential rain storms with lightening and 80+ mph winds. I lost significant branchage on my tree in the front yard, and lost a scraggly tree in the backyard. Now the mosquitoes are out in full force (one tried to carry Punkin off yesterday morning) and I am sweating as soon as I get out of the shower.

Bitch, moan, complain. K - I feel better now.

PS: I took these pics WHILE driving with the new iPhone. I only swerved into the lane next to me once!

PSS: I wonder if an invasion of locusts could be next.

The iPhone Has Landed

Finally.....I have retired the BlackBerry for a device that does not do random butt dials when placed in a back pocket. I took a couple of pictures of Punkin with the phone..as you can tell from her expression, she was thrilled to be the focus of my test shots.

Of course it only took me about 4 hours to get it all set up, what with the calls to ATT customer service and then a drive to the local ATT store to replace a loser SIM chip. Now that I have a phone WITH A CAMERA (which loser has two thumbs and got a BB without a camera? Me), I expect there shall be frequent documentation of whatever I feel like documenting. Consider yourselves warned. =D

Welcome to the Blog World....again

Okay...so this is my second attempt to start a blog AND KEEP UP WITH IT. FOr the love of all that is holy, I am online enough, you would think I could pay attention to my OWN blog. I recently have received a large dose of self confidence, so I am going to give this another try with the expectation that my blog eventually takes over the world (MWA HA HA). That is a joke people.......hellooooooo?