A Few Good Men

As a single woman, I have had my fair share of good and bad dating experiences through the years. Unfortunately, for some reason, the past 12 months have been filled with an overabundance of the latter and it has become a source of frustration with me.....the apparent lack of available, quality men remotely close to my age group, from which to choose a potential mate, partner, etc. It's not that I am not putting myself out there to meet people, it just appears that I have some sort of homing signal built in that attracts individuals that do NOT meet the criteria I have established for myself. The majority of bad dates have fallen into the following categories:


NOTE: All definitions supplied by Urban Dictionary or were made up by me.

The Man Child
A man child is a male who is over the age of 25, who still lives as though he is a juvenile. Many man-children are not gainfully employed, and survive off of the financial support of their enabling parents. Heavy video-game addiction to fantasy games such as World of Warcraft are key to the man-child.




The Lounge Lizard
A ladies-man that frequents night spots where drinks are served. May be part of the live music set, but usually the lizard is at the bar chatting up rich women. Most often seen in a suit that was a fashion statement in the 80s.

The Emotionally Vacuous Man
A man who is emotionally empty or lacks any real concept of what an emotion actually is. To be so self-absorbed that the needs of other people or dependants are never considered before he makes a decision or takes action.

The "Guys Just Want to Have Fun" Man AKA The Player
A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex.

The Young, Dumb and Full of Cum Guy AKA The 30K Millionaire
A 30k millionaire is a guy, who makes around 30k a year, usually from working at a window tinting shop, loan office, or an occupation that does not by any means require a college degree. With his pitiful a income, he spends it all on bottles of champagne at clubs, a boat,a nice car, and sometimes a 3-day trip to Vegas, only to be left with nothing in his account by overdraft fees and possibly a pending loan. NOTE: The 30K Millionaire man can also be interchanged with the Lounge Lizard and Player depending on age range.

The "If Only I Were Still Single" Guy
Probably one of the most dangerous guys out there in the dating world. He seems normal, nice, funny and says all of the right things. You think you've potentially met "the one". Unfortunately, this man is all about the thrill of the chase and when he knows he's made a connection, he whips out some story about being unhappy at home and if he were still single, you would be the love of his life. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

Sign Language

Princess Diana



Kurt Cobain



The Man in Black



Benecio Del Toro



Heidi Klum



Bruce Willis



Justin Timberlake



Avril LaVigne



Jerry Lee Lewis



Angelina Jolie AKA Lara Croft



The best middle finger pic EVER!!!

'Nuff Said

Airline Follies: Middle Seatmates

The Deadly Sins of Middle Seatmates
Ever Get Trapped Next to That Traveler Who Thinks Your Shoulder Is a Pillow?
COLUMN By RICK SEANEY FareCompare.com CEO

There are worse things than being stuck in the middle seat on an airplane.
How about being stuck next to a meddlesome middle seater? You know, the guy who leans into your newspaper as you try to peruse the latest on McCain and Obama, the guy who then has to tell you why your candidate is no good.


You've been there. But did you know? It could be worse.
Yes, your middle seatmate could be guilty of one or more of the "11 Deadly Sins." Allow me to present my list of sins -- and sinners.



1. Proud Papa. This is the man (or woman) who holds junior on his lap -- well, during takeoff and landing, anyway. Otherwise, he is content to let his brat "wander," which means the tot uses your knees as a delightful new gym toy, or constantly tries to get your attention with little jabs or gentle kicks. Junior is invariably in diapers. Sometimes they aren't changed quickly enough. Unfortunately sometimes they are changed -- right next to you. Bonus Points: Proud Papa deposits used diaper in your seat pocket.


2. Life of the Party. It doesn't matter if your flight takes off at 6 a.m., this middle seater is on vacation, and it starts right now. He's slamming down Jack Daniels faster that you can down your $2 Coke. He slurs, he spills, he's outta control. And he's just getting started. Bonus Points: Life of the Party starts getting a little green, he's starting not to feel so well, he's...... oops!

3. Jack in the Box. This middle seater has a lot of important things to do during the plane ride, including making out a grocery list, playing Solitaire on his laptop, updating his Christmas card list and everything he needs to work with is -- you guessed it -- in the overhead bin. So, he gets up -- to grab that pencil. Wait, he forgot his pad of paper -- up again. Wait, he needs the laptop -- up again. Wait -- well, you get the picture. Bonus Points: Every time Jack opens the bin, something falls on your head.


4. Fool for Fifi. If you're lucky, you'll never know your seatmate is traveling with a dog in a carrier. But of course, you won't be lucky. Fifi will bark, howl and make interesting gastrointestinal noises for the entire length of the flight. Then Fool will take Fifi out of her carrier, so you two can "make friends." Bonus Points: You will be assaulted by unassailable olfactory evidence that Fifi hasn't been let out for a walk in a long, long time.


5. The Bean Burrito. Your frugal seatmate brings his meal on board, and it is invariably a very large bean burrito. Within minutes of consumption, fumes begin escaping -- and your seat becomes a kind of death trap. Bonus Points: Burrito's beans are heavily laced with garlic and onions.


6. Barefoot Boy. This is the passenger that dislikes wearing socks with his shoes. He also dislikes wearing shoes and will slip them off just as soon as he's seated. You will then discover that he doesn't like bathing all that much, either. Bonus Points: In lieu of regular hygiene, Barefoot douses himself head to toe in that after-shave you used to give your Dad for Christmas (the one that always wound up in the trash).


7. The Hacker. No, he has no interest in messing up your computer; he's too busy coughing and hacking and sneezing all over you. There is no escaping The Hacker. Bonus Points: Hacker also has a mysterious rash all over his body, but tells you, "I'm pretty sure it's not real contagious."


8. Typing/Texting Twit. You sit down, and boom! The elbows start flying, and you start hurting. Whether the moron next to you is typing or texting, it comes down to the same thing: bruises. The fun continues when you try to explain the discolorations to the spouse. Bonus Points: Twit finally puts away the phone and laptop -- only to pull out the PlayStation, to begin a zestful round of "NHL Hockey."


9. Snuggle Bunny. Snuggle's sin is fatigue. Fatigue and the inability to distinguish between your shoulder and a pillow. Snuggle will snore away the entire flight, in comfort -- on you. Bonus Points: Snuggle Bunny has a drooling problem.


10. Lavatory Lizard. Lizard is kin to Jack in the Box; he too hops up again and again, to head to the restroom. And without fail, Lizard urges you not to get up -- and then steps on your feet. Bonus Points: Whenever the flight attendant comes by, Lizard is the first to say, "Another water, please!"

11. Yellular. For some reason, this middle seater believes his cell phone is actually a megaphone; he may be sitting in row 29, but believe me, the pilot can hear him loud and clear. Yellular gets on the phone the minute he sits down and doesn't get off till wheels up -- regaling you, and everyone else with conversations like, "How is the cat doing? Still got them hairballs?" Bonus Points: You're stuck on the tarmac for three hours while Yellular is yakking away about his latest romantic adventures -- in excruciating detail.

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